The Eurovision Song Contest, a beloved annual celebration of pop music and cultural diversity, has seen its fair share of memorable moments, both good and bad. Among the many entries that have graced the stage, the UK has had its fair share of flops, leaving fans and critics alike scratching their heads. From the hilariously off-key to the simply forgettable, these are the 10 biggest Eurovision flops from the UK, each one a testament to the unpredictable nature of the contest.
- Jemini (2003):
The UK's first-ever nul points went to Liverpudlian duo Chris Cromby and Gemma Abbey, known as Jemini. Their live performance of 'Cry Baby' in Latvia was plagued by an apparent technical fault, leaving them off-key and unable to hear the backing track. This resulted in a last-place finish and the dreaded nul points. The BBC commentator Terry Wogan attributed the UK's performance to a 'post-Iraq war backlash', while talent show judge Louis Walsh was scathing, comparing it to a random selection from a shop counter.
- Josh Dubovie (2010):
Pete Waterman, a seasoned hit-maker, co-wrote 'That Sounds Good to Me' for Josh Dubovie. However, the song failed to resonate with the audience, charting at a disappointing 179th place. On the night in Oslo, it scored a mere 10 points. Dubovie later changed his stage name to Josh James to move on from the experience.
- Look Mum No Computer (2026):
The UK's quest for novelty value backfired with 'Eins, Zwei, Drei' by Sam Battle. Despite the song's Marmite appeal, it received a solitary point from the juries and zero from the viewer vote, resulting in a last-place finish. Battle conceded that the song was divisive, and voters ultimately had him on toast.
- Michael Rice (2019):
Michael Rice, a former busker from Hartlepool, won the forgettable BBC singing show 'All Together Now' the previous year. His power ballad 'Bigger Than Us' in Tel Aviv scored just 16 points, with further embarrassment when he was deducted five points due to a mix-up with the Belarusian jury. It was a case of kicking a man when he was already down.
- Engelbert Humperdinck (2012):
The UK's entry of 76-year-old Engelbert Humperdinck, formerly known as Gerry Dorsey, smacked of not taking the competition seriously. His cheesy crooner 'Love Will Set You Free' scored just 12 points, finishing 25th out of 26. The great British public took it with good grace, with calls to quit the contest in protest.
- Mae Muller (2023):
After Sam Ryder's second-place finish in 2022, the UK hosted the contest on behalf of war-torn Ukraine. Mae Muller, a Camden-born granddaughter of actor Billie Whitelaw, was chosen to represent the UK on home soil. Her Dua Lipa-esque tune 'I Wrote a Song' finished second from bottom, beating only German metallers Lord of the Lost. It was a case of 'something' being better than nothing.
- Electro Velvet (2015):
The UK's electro swing experiment with 'Still in Love With You' by Electro Velvet backfired. The duo's faux-vintage song, complete with a scat interlude, was unflatteringly compared to the Birds Eye potato waffles jingle. Diane Abbott MP even tweeted her disdain, and the song scored a measly five points, described as a 'crash landing'.
- Scooch (2007):
'Flying the Flag (For You)' by Scooch, a bubblegum pop quartet, was a camp performance in cabin crew uniforms. The innuendo-laden lyrics, including 'Salted nuts, sir?' and 'Would you like something to suck on for landing?', scored 12 points from Malta and seven from Ireland, leaving them second from last. The press described it as a 'crash landing'.
- James Newman (2021):
James Newman, a leather car-coated Yorkshireman, suffered the ignominy of being the UK entry twice. In 2020, his song 'My Last Breath' was cancelled due to the Covid pandemic. A year later, his new song 'Embers' became the second British act to receive nul points, finishing last.
- Andy Abraham (2008):
'Andy the Binman', an X Factor runner-up who worked as a refuse collector, won the selection contest 'Eurovision: Your Decision' with 'Even If'. On the big night in Belgrade, he performed second on the bill and came last with only 14 points, not even beaten by the Irish entry Dustin the Turkey, who was knocked out in the semi-final. We suspect there might have been fowl play.
In conclusion, these UK Eurovision flops showcase the unpredictable nature of the contest, from technical faults to questionable song choices. While some entries were hilariously off-key, others were simply forgettable, leaving a lasting impression of embarrassment and head-scratching. As the contest continues to evolve, one can only wonder what the future holds for the UK's Eurovision endeavors.
